tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-12-06:1843530ellenmillionellenmillionellenmillion2018-11-24T17:31:35Ztag:dreamwidth.org,2012-12-06:1843530:1633328Chopping Block 2018: The quick version2018-11-24T02:02:33Z2018-11-24T17:31:35Zpublic7Way back in 2010, I sat down and analyzed all the many parts of my business "empire," deciding which were financially viable or otherwise rewarding, prioritizing my time, and taking a good hard look at what still brought me joy, and what had run its course. <br /><br />I am doing this again now for many of the same reasons I did it in 2010: I am spread too thin. I am suffering a mental exhaustion wrapped up with the business that has resulted in an art block the likes of which I have never faced before - I have skipped three Sketch Fests in a row! And I find it important to be practical about financial and emotion drain, and to reevaluate frequently. <br /><br />These are hard to do, because... well, it's been twenty-five years. Twenty-five years of <i>incredibly</i> hard work, big disappointment, rewards, and dreams. I've spent a long, long time working my ass off, thinking that the next thing would be my big break, that now, at last, I'd be solvent, that the hard work would pay off, that I'd finally have something that matched my vision. There's a lot of emotion and feelings of worth tied up in a business like this. <br /><br />My lizard-brain wants to insist that it was all a waste of time, that I've failed spectacularly when you compare the effort to the monetary reward. Engineering was far, far easier... shouldn't I have given these dreams up sooner? Why did I bother? <br /><br />For the most part, I recognize that lizard-brain for the liar that it is. I have plenty to be proud of, and every failure I've earned has been a stepping stone to something better. I <i>am</i> utterly unstoppable. <br /><br />But I'm also sensible enough to realize when it's time to shed some of the dead weight that I've been dragging along with me sentimentally. So, today, we evaluate!<br /><br />I'm doing a more limited chopping block look than I did last time. If you'd like to see the full one from last time, boggle at this: <a href="https://ellenmillion.dreamwidth.org/1109188.html">https://ellenmillion.dreamwidth.org/1109188.html</a><br /><br /><span class="cut-wrapper"><span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___1" class="cuttag"></span><b class="cut-open">( </b><b class="cut-text"><a href="https://ellenmillion.dreamwidth.org/1633328.html#cutid1">But this still got lengthy, so have a cut!</a></b><b class="cut-close"> )</b></span><div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___1" aria-live="assertive"></div><br /><br />And there we have it, chopping block done. And I've got a book to go write, because this doesn't count towards my NaNoWriMo count (1886 words, darnit!)!<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=ellenmillion&ditemid=1633328" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2012-12-06:1843530:1629747Hmm! Musings on things.2018-06-27T00:15:51Z2018-06-27T18:21:54Zpublic6With the 25th anniversary of my business galloping down on me, it may be time for a round of projects on the chopping block: <a href="https://ellenmillion.dreamwidth.org/tag/chopping+block">https://ellenmillion.dreamwidth.org/tag/chopping+block</a><br /><br />Can you believe it's been 8 years since I last did one?!<br /><br />In other related things, I'm looking at my <a href="https://ellenmillion.dreamwidth.org/1628729.html">#junicorn</a> progress (25 done!) and it is REMARKABLE how much they have improved since the first year I did them. This, and a bit of a recent ego shakeup, is making me ask hard questions about what I want to improve on, skills wise, and how, exactly, I'm actively working to do that. I am not anywhere CLOSE to where I want to be in several areas, and there are a lot of places I feel like I'm completely stagnating. <br /><br />If you know me at all, you know how satisfied I am with that state of affairs. (Spoilers: NOT VERY.) <br /><br />I will probably finish the <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/ellenmillion?section_id=24100988">hunky shifter series</a> as part of my self-education, because I've historically slacked off on drawing men, and I feel like it is really good practice to make myself finish 20 of these. I feel like I've already expanded my repertoire nicely with just seven of them, but I've got more to learn. (Also, use the discount code BEEFCAKE33 for 33% off at Etsy.) <br /><br />And next month, instead of doing #Zooly (rhymes with July), I think I will do a 30 portraits/30 days challenge, and request photos and references from my audience. Anything I don't sell can go up on PA because I'm Not Happy with my current offerings. (I'm seeing a theme.)<br /><br />Girl Nest Door has topped 17500 and I'm having a heap of 'this sucks and the plot doesn't work and I am so laaaaame' feelings but I am still plugging away at just over 1000 words/day and if I get that and a LITTLE extra writing time in the next few days, it is possible (POSSIBLE) that I will finish this sucker this month. (Which is not bad, considering I STARTED it this month.) <br /><br /><br />Here, have some new artwork behind this cut:<br /><span class="cut-wrapper"><span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___1" class="cuttag"></span><b class="cut-open">( </b><b class="cut-text"><a href="https://ellenmillion.dreamwidth.org/1629747.html#cutid1">Hunky shifters this way...</a></b><b class="cut-close"> )</b></span><div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___1" aria-live="assertive"></div><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=ellenmillion&ditemid=1629747" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments