Ow, my eyes... (some books to avoid)

[ellenmillion]

So I got to do some reading on vacation (yay!) and I've even got that myth called 'spare time' in which to do some now.

I am appalled at the quality of writing out there. I mean, I knew there was drivel, but ouch... my eyes. I picked up a novel called the Kinvara Affairs, thinking (WRONGLY) that since the author had so many other books in this and other series that it had to have redeeming features. Fluff, I was expecting, but at least coherent, engaging fluff. I read fast, but I couldn't read fast *enough* to get through this book. The last half of the thing I took in huge skims, hoping for *anything* redeeming, since at one point it was all I had to read. The editor should be flogged. I wanted to shriek 'show, don't tell!' in the middle of the airport, and chain the author someplace cold and itchy for introducing So Many useless and unsubstantiated characters, and telling what could have been charming stories in such a dry, distant fashion. Instead of introducing characters that we'd like, and actually following them around to develop their poignant characteristics and make their lives and deaths meaningful, she just outright tells us what their personality is supposed to be. Most of the important stuff is in... ah, crud... what's that style that English teachers always tell you to avoid? Using 'were' and 'was' too much and draining all of the immediacy and connection out of the prose? Horrid.

I'm also really, seriously thinking about dropping the Luna subscription. Fairy Godmother was cute, and I have to admit I did enjoy that one, and Mountain's Call was worth a first read (though not a second). Oh, and Staying Dead was fantastic! But the latest one, Elphame, is grueling. I'm not even interested in reading the rest. There were two pages early on about how beautiful and graceful and striking the heroine is, and as soon as they gave her 'sable eyes,' (to go with the flaming red hair and amazing body - oh, and she's half-centaur and a terrible misfit and looking for her One True Destined lifemate...) I was about to fling the book across the room. *shudder* And again, every little detail spelled out in case we as readers are too daft to get subtleties. (Which were NOT subtle) Oh, and the POV switching! Gah... Within-the-scene switching, whenever 'convenient,' ie: whoever has the most angst at the moment. I skipped ahead a little further, found the mousy, healer side-kick with her amazing art talents (and probably she's 'much more beautiful than she knows') and infatuation with the heroine's brother, and gave it up. Anyone want a copy? Nearly new, I'll pay shipping if you send me back something worth reading at least once.

The next Luna book looks nearly as awful from the castlist on the back, but I will at least give it a shot before I flame it. I did want to stick the subscription out until I got Urban Shaman, but I'm just not sure I can.

I really, really, really hope I don't unknowingly know either of these authors, because these reviews are a touch harsh, but honestly, I'm inclined to lean on the editors a little, too. I hope to GOD I have an editor someday who isn't afraid to tell me, 'ya know, Ellen, this is really horrid. Could you be more cliche if you tried? Go take a nice long walk in the woods and think about what you've done, then come back and write something that people will want to read.'

Which is what I plan to do this afternoon, after finishing artists pay.

Comments

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

Elphame was one of the ones I didn't buy, because I didn't think it looked very good. I didn't get past about page 4 of SILVER'S EDGE, and I'm not sure I'm going to manage to read Susan Krinard's book, either. Uh. SHIELD OF THE SKY, is that one.

I liked Christie Golden's ON FIRE'S WINGS a lot, and thought MOUNTAIN'S CALL was better than you thought it was. :) I picked up the Rachel Lee book and bought it based on the quality of craftsmanship in the first few paragraphs, rather than a blind purchase, and pretty much intend to do that from here on out.

[ratauvan.livejournal.com]

...I'm trying to imagine how someone can be half-centaur. Do they end up looking like a faun with horse legs instead of goat ones or something?

(Uh, it is called a faun in English right?)

[octoberdreaming.livejournal.com]

Oh, do I ever know the feeling. People are always saying that it's so difficult to break into the publishing business, but after reading some of that crap, you have to wonder... Why? Why, dear heavens, WHY??? Or what the hell were those editors thinking, anyway?

More and more, it makes me determined to climb the slippery slope of the publishing industry until I'm a fiction editor with my finger on a vein of the industry. That way, if need be, I can squish the vein and send out waves of PAIN AND SUFFERING until someone sends me something worth publishing.

...

of course, it doesn't work that way, but it's a nice dream. But I really do want to have some control over the stuff that goes out into the world for people to read. Now, if I could only find a job...

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that was what they were going for...

"... although the girl's muscular body was covered with a sleek coat of horsehair from the waist down, and she had hooves instead of feet, except for the extraordinary muscles in her lower body she was otherwise built very much like a human female."

Sprinkle in a looot of prose about grace, allure, strength and perfection, and you'll have a good idea of how they wrote her.

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

And yup, it's a faun in English.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

what the hell were those editors thinking, anyway?

That different things appeal to different people. :)

[pussinboots.livejournal.com]

You would think, after the beautiful Internet taught many of us the true horror of Mary Sue, that editors, who are also supposedly accessing the Internet, would know better than to publish one. ;_;

[klawzie.livejournal.com]

Since Luna lists "romantic fantasy" as what they look for, and I'd like to think I'm rather good at it, I thought about submitting to them... And now with this there's the idea of, "Y'know, it might be easier than I'd thought." and then that's tempered by the idea of, "but if it's THAT easy, will anyone ever read my stuff, if everything else they read published by Luna is so bad?" :P

[octoberdreaming.livejournal.com]

That's true, but the emphasis should be on quality as well as diversity. Cliches and bad writing don't make for good books. Editors are supposed to be looking out for good writing. I understand that there are some readers who don't recognize bad or cliched writing. I understand marketing to the LCD population. I'd just like to see less of it, and it irritates me that stuff like what Ellen has mentioned, stuff that is undeniably bad, gets published when so many excellent writers have such a difficult time getting an editor to even read their material.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure Matrice doesn't think those books are undeniably bad, or she wouldn't have bought them. :)

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

Actually, Luna's looking for fantasy with a romantic subplot, rather than romantic fantasy, which I understand emphasizes the romance over the fantasy elements. I've read more of the Luna books than Ellen has at this point, and while I grant that I may be looking for things to like, as I'm one of the authors, I've generally enjoyed what I've read. It is not, by and large, the stuff of ages, but with a couple of exceptions I've been entertained and pleased by the stories. Some of them are better than others, certainly, but it's not like every publishing house doesn't have the same kind of spread. It may be easier to *see* with Luna, because they're a brand-new house with only a dozen titles out now, but I really don't believe they've got a higher percentage of crap than any other house.

[octoberdreaming.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure who "Matrice" is, but I'm judging those books from what Ellen is saying about them. POV switching, cliches, bad writing - none of that has any redeeming quality, as far as I'm concerned, and all problems that a good editor would want fixed before accepting a book for sale, in my opinion.

Ellen is someone in whose very good reading taste I trust when it comes to books, so when she says a thing is bad, I believe her, and I will never put any of the above-mentioned books on my reading list.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

She's the editor of the Luna line. My editor, in fact. :)

I'm not disagreeing that some of the books may in fact actually be bad. I do, however, assume that the editor saw something in them that I don't see. I can't necessarily *explain* it, but I do know that editors do not deliberately and willfully purchase books that they think are bad.

[klawzie.livejournal.com]

*nods* That's something to consider! I appreciate the response, 'cause I've been considering Luna since "The Fairy Godmother" came out.

I don't suppose you could tell me if you think Luna would be interested in expanded/retold fairy tales? :D (Working on the Twelve Dancing Princesses and Princess and the Pea, currently. ;p ) *blah blah*

[octoberdreaming.livejournal.com]

I do know that editors do not deliberately and willfully purchase books that they think are bad.

I imagine they don't, but even editors have bad days. It doesn't even mean the writers are bad writers. For example, Robin McKinley's editor really let Spindle's End slip through with grossly terrible passages and a plot that went on and on and on into the endless horizon and sent me into skim mode. Robin McKinley is NOT a bad writer, in fact, she's one of the best fantasy authors out there. However, Spindle's End was just bad, and it was obvious that it didn't have to be and wouldn't have been, had the editor been on top of his/her game. That may be the case for these books. As Ellen pointed out, some stuff approached being a fun read, but the rest...

I'm with Ellen on this one - I hope that my editors rip my heart out with criticism rather than let me publish something that is trite or just plain awful. But I agree with you that editors don't deliberately buy bad books, and that one or two bad books in a line doesn't mean they're all bad.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

I have no idea, but I do know that they're pretty popular right now. It certainly can't hurt to try!