I fear favoritism...

[ellenmillion]

Not that I give it - I'm painfully careful on that end - but that I am often, OFTEN at the receiving end of it.

How much of what I have have I truly *earned?*

I question every single one of my Mod's Choices at Elfwood. I question being put up at Illuminators Guild when so many are still in limbo. I question every single Epilogue piece I have up... I would have rejected half of them, myself. And do you know that I have NEVER had an Epilogue rejection? True story. I haven't previously donated to them (I did just a few weeks back), so that rumor isn't true, but I know a lot of those people, and have an amicable at worst relationship with all the people in all the positions to get me all the honors that I've gotten. (Except possibly the New Master's of Fantasy thingy... my only connection with any of the judges was a long ago dinner with Larry Elmore and he *probably* doesn't remember me.)

How many of these honors would I have, if I were posting under some psuedonym? How much of it is 'oh, that's Ellen, wave her on through!'

Hmm.

Comments

[baba-studio.livejournal.com]

Well, this isn't really a reply to what you've posted, but it does have a bit of that "why us?" quality. I opened a page at Deviant and was about to close it again (I don't think Deviant is "us" for a few reasons - but interesting enough for a week or two) when we were asked to join twistedrealmz. They say they are opening up beyond "dark" art - right now it looks too into the whole macabre genre to fit with our work.

Anyway, do you know the site? Do you know anything about its reputation? They say they have around one million hits a month:

http://www.twistedrealmz.com/members.php

Don't worry if you don't know anything, just curious to check out some peoples' opinions.

Is Epilogue running again? I thought it seemd to be in a bit of a limbo.

[boogarshadow.livejournal.com]

I personally think you are an awesome artist (and person) and you do alot to help other artists.

And they always say ..it's Who you know...*Wink*

I wouldnt worry about it, or even feel bad about it in the slightest!

[boogarshadow.livejournal.com]

It's up and running :), though they seem to have glitches every now and again.

[boogarshadow.livejournal.com]

Oh! and I donated to Epilogue, and I get rejected all the time...LOL...So that has nothing to do with it! LoL...

[baba-studio.livejournal.com]

Thanks - I'll go and take a look in that case.

[baba-studio.livejournal.com]

and on the subject of the thread, I wouldn't worry. There is often a degree of familiarity in people's decisions - not exactly favouritism, but they get to know certain people and what to expect, so maybe you do get waved through sometimes. But that's surely more because you have a reputation, rather than some sort of unfairness.

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

I'm not familiar with that site, though it *could* be one that I was invited to join some time ago. (I looked at the site, then at my happy-romantic artwork and filed the email as spam.) It has the same feel to it, but I don't remember if it was this particular site.

At any rate, it sure doesn't look like a genre you'd fit into, but if they're making genre changes, I suppose it could be. My impression of the site was... well, what's the point? Why *would* people come back? A million hits is a hefty claim, and I don't personally see content and record of consistant updating to support that regularly. That is, of course, VERY colored by my personal taste... I was completely unimpressed to discover that one of their interviews was cut off mid-word, for example, and the gallery organization (the WHOLE gallery of 66 on one page of thumbnails was a hefty load even on dsl...) left much to be desired.

And if they're planning to open it up to other genres... um, why? Right now, I can believe it is a niche site, opening it up to other genres turns it pretty much into a gallery site like hundreds of others. If they're really getting a million hits a month, then surely their formula is working for them, and doesn't require a lot of change.

Those are my (very opinionated!!) thoughts on the matter. :)

[baba-studio.livejournal.com]

No, it's interesting what you say. I agree with you. I know our websites need updating, but when we do put stuff up we edit it - the tutorials and interviews they had looked incredibly thrown together in some cases. Plus the "Happy Christmas" message was more than a bit off-putting!

They say they are about to make big changes - one change that certainly needs to happen is to answer that "what's the point?" question. I found it really odd that there was no sort of coherent "about us".

They do seem nice however - and enthusiastic - but must say I am cautious. We do need to show our work in more places - but there has to be a fit (not easy with our work).

There is Duirwaigh of course - but we don't do fairy art so can't imagine fitting in there.

Hmm.

Lots to think about. We've just been offered physical gallery space for the summer too - FABULOUS space, so I may chat to you about that. If we take it we'd be very interested in taking some tarots on commission - we are thinking of an exhibition called something like "all things magic" (yes, I have to work on that!) It all happened a bit suddenly - someone we know slightly just out of the blue offered it - complete with someone to take the money for sales, which would really be helpful.

Anyway, that's a bit of a diversion from your main thread - sorry!

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

How much of what I have have I truly *earned?*

Enough of it to stop wasting time agonizing over questions like this. Sheesh, Ellen. You've been working hard at your art and your business for over a decade. God forbid you should actually get some accolades for that. *poke*

[frigg.livejournal.com]

Mod's Choice at Elfwood: Have one myself, but I don't take these to seriously. Now, Epilogue on the other hand...I don't know the editors there, but it is NOT my impression that they would accept something sub-standard just because they know you. If you've never had a rejection, then your work is clearly Epilogue quality! :)

I've had a few rejections, but I have the same doubts as you regarding accepted work. Not that they get accepted because of my name (I'm not known), but that the editors may made a mistake or that I got the pieces in when they weren't as strict as now. I guess self-doubt is a part of life, especially when you are working creatively.