My best friend (LJ Idol)

[ellenmillion]

I suppose I should write about my darling Jake, or possibly one of the pets - even poor fox-eaten Max, whose death made me cry for weeks. Maybe Jennie should go here, what with that whole 'sure, I'll move to Alaska' stamp of loyalty.

But I have a new best friend.

And it's in my pants.

Wait, wait, come back! This isn't one of those posts, don't worry. See, in the last year or so, I've gained about 10 lbs, and that makes me happier than a four year old with a pile of dirt.

I have always been underweight. I was told, in college, that I needed to gain 30 lbs and was put on a sure-fire weight gain diet that centered around ice cream, required seven meals a day, and made heavy girls glare at me with hate in their eyes while I stuffed my face and didn't gain an ounce. I had - and still have - no appreciation for my metabolism. I was not 'slender,' I was not 'svelte,' I was not even 'thin' - I was skinny. When I was in fourth grade, they sent me home with a note making sure my family had enough money to feed me. Every annual exam I've ever gotten comes with that 'Do you throw up after meals?' and 'Do you feel like you have to be thin to be popular' fishing to check and make sure I'm not bolemic. My butt goes completely numb after just 20 minutes on a hard bench or one of those awful metal folding chairs. I rattle around in those rides at the fair like a marble in a tennis shoe, and I'm deathly afraid I'm going to slip right out around those lap belt thingies that are supposed to hold you in while you're whipping around in space. I'm not short, either - I'm about 5'8, and finding clothing that hits my ankles and wrists but doesn't leave me swimming in excess material is a minor miracle.

Or at least - that used to be the case.

I was warned with zest by my older and plumper friends that my metabolism would change when I hit my late twenties. As with grown-up teeth and boobs, I was a late-bloomer, but indeed, with the age of 31, I finally got some weight.

It's amazing.

I can sit in a chair without feeling my butt-bones grinding against my skin! I can wear clothing off the shelf! I can go three hours without eating and not faint or go homicidal! My elbows are no longer the widest part of my arms! My collarbones no longer catch crumbs!

I love you, you recent 10 lbs of flesh. You are my best friend ever.




PS: Please don't hate me. It's just genetics.

Comments

[imafarmgirl.livejournal.com]

Brilliant! I loved it.

[baxaphobia.livejournal.com]

Great! But don't speak too soon! I was like you til I hit 40 and then Ka-BOOM! But enjoy the ride!

[anchasta.livejournal.com]

Awesome! :)

[libra-dragon.livejournal.com]

Very nice!
Good entry and something I didn't really expect to read about. I know most wouldn't consider weight as a friend and I never really thought it about that way until I read this.

Congratulations

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

10 pounds can make a marvelous difference.

My problem was digestive -- not being able to keep my stomach functional long enough to get enough food into the system. It's considerably better now, and my body has more padding, and my health is improved.

Gods help anyone who makes a comment about the weight or shape of my body, because they don't get a warning shot across the bow. They get hulled, set afire, and sunk posthaste.

[forceworks.livejournal.com]

Can I borrow some of your metabolism?

And wow, great way to approach this!

[anamacha.livejournal.com]

great post, and a nice twist! I'm happy for you, very.

But I don't *really* believe until I see pics *wink*

[uminomamori.livejournal.com]

haha sounds like me

[arison.livejournal.com]

That made me laugh so very, very much. Congratulations on the weight-gain!

[mebird.livejournal.com]

Well I jumped into the wrong gene pool(and swallowed too much, HA!).. congrats on feeling better about things! :)

Bodies huh, big or small they certainly have their moments! :)

*HUGS*

[rendergirl.livejournal.com]

I've got an extra 60 layin around... you want 'em? LOL

[lilmissmagic71.livejournal.com]

wonderful take! Hooray for your new butt! I loved this post!

[mezzominty.livejournal.com]

I think it's great... turns the whole Hollywood obsession with skinny on its head. Good for you and congratulations on the weight GAIN and the fine entry :)

[terrellztoonz.livejournal.com]

After the baby is born feel free to take as much of my extra pounds as yer heart desires! LOL!!!!! ;) I am bottom -heavy---hehehehe

Seriously, glad to hear that you are gaining weight and are feeling GREAT!! :)

[toeknuckles.livejournal.com]

i used to be like that when i was a kid and teenager - i ate as much as i could, and i never gained anything. i just grew taller.


but it all caught up with me after i hit 20. with interest. O_O

ooh, and make sure to remind us to vote! i'm one of those slow learners that needs to prodding. ;-)

[pixiewildflower.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

I used to be skinny too. Then I had kids. Then I was just slightly on the low side of normal. Then I hit my 30's. Now I'm on the slightly on the high side of normal. I'm not liking it. Darn that wall that my mom told me I'd hit. Why does SHE always get to be right? I wanted to be right and be able to eat what I want and as much as I want, forever!!!

I love the way you told this...btw.

*HUGS*

[kittenboo.livejournal.com]

I love your writing style with this entry, good job!

[wildcatwrites.livejournal.com]

How unique...I love it!

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

No hating here. My sister had the same problem. She still is a stick but once she passed 30, she finally got some padding in the rear.

Good take on the topic at hand.

[belenen.livejournal.com]

that's so great! congrats!

on your P.S. --
I think the media's obsession with (unnatural) thinness has had not only the negative effect of making naturally thick women starve and hate themselves, but also had the negative effect of making naturally slim women 'the enemy.' And it's hurtful to know that someone is feeling animosity toward you for the body nature gave you -- whether that be thick or thin!

Fortunately I think we as a society are slowly starting to embrace more of a variety in body shapes, and as we do I think self-body-hate and other-body-hate will diminish. Then we can all love our own shapes as well as everyone else's! Variety is beauty! :D

♥ ♥ ♥

[belenen.livejournal.com]

hm. Well, I disagree but I don't want to get into an argument in someone else's journal so I will just leave it at that.

I love it!

[ladyozma.livejournal.com]

Different take and one I can relate with. THough now i'd like to lose some of this weight. For me it came with pregnancy #2 that involved the entirety to be on bed rest, 10 steroid shots (guess where said weight cetners), and a heinous c-section. Somehow i walked into the hospital weighing x and droped a 7 pound baby plus all the other baby stuff. I walked out of the hospital weighing x. WTH? Logic dictates that I should, at bare minimum, be x-7. GRRR And still that weight is with me. Nine freaking years later. I've accepted this though. I'd like to lose half of it. I needed thirty pounds, not sixty. But at least I don't have people asking if I am anorexic anymore. Clothes still don't fit great because with the weight I also ended up with these hips at the same position as when I went into the hospital. They pop out all the time. *GRRR* So there's like a 10 inch difference between hips and waist.

Anyway, people who haven't been underweight for no reason just don't understand.

Hope the weight stops with that ten pounds. :) Doesn't go insane like mine did.

[n-decisive.livejournal.com]

Excellent!

[kanaetkassad.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're happier with what you've got:)

[elva-undine.livejournal.com]

Love it! Love it! Love it!

[sushimustwrite.livejournal.com]

I can definitely relate to this, having encountered the same problem. I can't wait until I gain a little bit of that weight myself. Nice entry.

[johnmill79.livejournal.com]

I'm much the same way. People have wondered how I can eat tons of food and gain nothing. I'm just doomed to be a stick, I think. My dad was this small too.

I often go to the doctor, and they ask me "are you alright?" I usually ask "aren't you supposed to be trying to figure that out?"

It does amuse me, wondering where all that food is getting off to. I'd like to get a bit bigger, but I guess I just can't.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

Very nicely done! Alas, my own genetics tends towards the, erm, "fluffy" side, but congrats! (And you're definitely getting a vote from me, too!)