ellenmillion

The sky is getting dark before 3, which is not entirely unusual. But it's also just starting to snow, and the forecast is for up to 15 inches over the next few days, with winds to 50 mph. Power outages are expected (and prepared for!), and I feel like the whole world is just... holding its breath.

I'm in no rush for 2017.

I find no real comfort in the turning of the calendar year, and I do not assign 2016 any malice for the many griefs and upsets that were suffered. I don't find a lot of immediacy in the many celebrity deaths, but I did lose a friend this year, and there were many times I had to stop and wonder at the lunacy of the world and re-examine things I'd taken for granted.

That said, it wasn't all that bad of a year for me personally. I did a lot of art. I wrote and published two not-really-books (not the SAME books, because there is a little lag between writing and publishing - 1 was written in 2015, and one is due to be released in February)... and one of them did amazingly well, while the other still did better than I ever would have expected before this year. I kept my fingers in programming and added some pretty awesome new features to my sites. I had illustrations published in two books (one paid, one a charity project). I released seven new coloring books, one of them a solo book of my own. I did a tarot card for the 78Tarot Carnival project.

I was bold and courageous about my own work, which paid off in crazy spades. I didn't get everything I applied for, but I did get three noteable contracts, one of which I have been able to share nothing about yet, and I'm so, so pleased with my work on it so far.

I did #junicorn, and #smaugust (though I fell a little short there), and #inktober. I did some work in color, and a LOT in black and white. I even started a painting, though it would be more impressive if I had finished it. I wrote a non-fiction article.

Business sales were brisk at the beginning of the year, my new coloring book Kickstarter was a solid success, and then sales tapered over to nearly nothing over the summer, with no real holiday rebound, to my surprise. My Patreon page continues to grow in teeny steps, and my Etsy shop grew considerably in size and modestly in sales. (This month was my best ever in sales!)

My daughter turned four, early in the year, and has been SO VERY FOUR. She vacillates from the sweetest, cuddliest, more precocious little angel to the most frustrating, infuriating, stubborn little monster. I love her in all her ways, but want to strangle her more in some than others. Trying to get her to wear pants is crazy-hard.

There were world-changing health scares in the immediate family, and I am grateful that the terrible potential outcomes were dodged. It was eye-opening. We have life insurance now, it was that serious. I will never take our heath for granted the same way again.

2016 was not awful. It was not unblemished, but it was by far not my personal worst.

I know a lot of people look at 2017 with fear and pessimism, and I understand why, but I'm pretty optimistic.

I'm looking forward to seeing all the amazing, creative projects that my inspired and inspiring friends will make. I'm looking forward to Guppy turning five and seeing what she's like as a five-year-old. I'm excited for the adventures I'm going to have with my amazing husband. I am eager to push my boundaries more - can I write THREE not-a-books this year? Even more? What changes will 2017 make on my art style? Will I FINISH a painting?

It has snowed an inch or so, since I started this entry, but the expected wind has still not arrived yet. I am content to wait. I am ready for the storm. I am ready for the year. I am ready.

Are you?

I am not a particularly good friend. I would rather chew off my own foot than make a phonecall. I have to force myself to socialize, even when I know I'd actually have fun. I don't always comment on your live-journal entries, even when you're feeling down, or have a problem. I don't comment at your galleries, even when I like your work or it touches me somehow. I don't take the time to hunt up those people who fall out of my immediate circle of interests, even when those people are dear and special to me. I don't answer all of the wonderful, friendly, chatty emails that brighten my day, though I do make some effort on that front. I'm scum of the earth in terms of my poor abandoned penpals.

But you're important to me! I come by lj several times a day, and read with rapt interest… I love the glimpses of your lives, and the parade of writing and art. I am more than a little awed by the amount of talent and beauty and strength of spirit that you have, and I have to say that you people give me a taste of hope for the future of humanity. I love seeing people at their most depressed and at their most joyous, and at their most vulnerable.

I am so grateful to the comments you leave me, and the support and admiration you show me really keep me going. You have no idea how helpful and wonderful and inspiring you people are. You mean the world to me.

One of my writing goals is to write, however brief, something in honor of everyone who has meant something important to me, hopefully one blurb every week or two. I have a lot of people to get through…