Gardening fail...

[ellenmillion]

So, Internet, do you have any ideas about saving my zucchinis? Yes, my zucchinis, the world's easiest-to-grow plant, are failing. They get about the size of a thumb and start to rot at the tip. There aren't any bugs on them, birds aren't getting to them, the moose haven't eaten them, they have big, healthy leaves and like a hundred giant flowers... they just start molding at the flower-end before they get big enough to pick. It's been miserably cold, and it supposedly frosted in town last week, but I don't think it's been that cold up here, and the soil seems to be at a good moisture content.

This, on the heels of The Dog knocking over one my potted potatoes and scattering teeny little red potatoes around his run for the pleasure of digging in the dirt and mangling the plants, makes me fear for my nuturing skills. I'm having a baby, and I can't grow zucchinis for God's sake.

Comments

[chrysoula.livejournal.com]

Manually introduce the male flowers to the female flowers!

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

Have done! Crossing fingers that it works!

[sholio]

What chrysoula said! If there are no pollinators around (and on a damp summer like this, there don't seem to be) you have to manually pollinate them or they will rot like you said. You can either use an old paintbrush to gather pollen, or pluck the male flower and rub it all over the female flower's, er, female flowerparts. (I always feel vaguely like I'm molesting my plants when I do this.)

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

Me and a paintbrush went out and... er... masturbated those poor things - we'll see if it took! Most of the blossoms are still furled, and I've only got the one male blossom so far, so I figured I'd better not pick it.

It's true that I haven't seen any bees in like a month!

[redokapi.livejournal.com]

Don't despair. I find taking care of animals much easier than plants. The only plant I have that is thriving is the aloe vera...mostly because it *likes* it when I forget to water it for a month.

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

*weeps* I've killed aloe vera....

[ankewehner.livejournal.com]

Watered it too much?

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

Yes - two of us not communicating about when it was watered, and not checking the soil before doing so.

[ursulav.livejournal.com]

Sounds like it could be a pollinator problem, yup! And if not that, it may just be the cold--don't despair. Some years you get the zucchini, some years the zucchini gets you.

It's okay, really. You're not a failure. This is a gardener's life. There's always a plant that is super easy for everybody ELSE to grow. (I myself have no luck with milkweed, either A. tuberosa or A. incarnata, which are generally listed as super easy, requiring no care, and downright aggressive in the case of A. incarnata. Mine catch fire, fall over, die and sink into the dark tarn.) And this is the first year I've managed to get nasturtiums to take, and those are so easy that they're recommended for small children and idiots.

There will be other years and other zucchini if these don't work.

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

We'll try the manual method and see if it helps, and... everything about beating myself up (or not) sounds dirty after that.

[draken-art.livejournal.com]

We couldn't get sunflowers to grow this year....
Our cucumbers look terrible and though we have bees and they are being pollinated, they aren't producing fruit.
Our tomatoes look sickly compared to last year's bumper crop.
Peppers aren't doing so good either.

However our arctic kiwi vine has "revived" from it's roots after we though it was DEAD. :)

Links I found:
http://my.gardenguides.com/forums/topic/12636
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10191/1071747-47.stm

[draken-art.livejournal.com]

(Psst and I live in a warm climate area where plants like these SHOULD grow with little help). ;)

[kiri-moth.livejournal.com]

Eh. Zucchinis aren't that exciting anyway. Eat the flowers instead! Squash and zucchini blossom are delicious when stuffed with goat cheese, dipped in tempura batter, and lightly fried to a crisp golden brown. :9

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

*drools*

I think that cardboard stuffed with goat cheese, tempuraed and fried would be delicious.

(But I do actually really *like* zucchini, so I was very excited about them. :P)

[kiri-moth.livejournal.com]

*lol* True, everything is good fried! The flowers are very tasty though. They have a bit of the flavor of the squash. Just be sure to pull the stamens out.

Anyway, I was just thinking that if you have a bumper crop of flowers, you could at least harvest and enjoy some of them while you figure out how to solve the zucchini problem. ;)

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

You can eat the stamens. They're a different flavor, though, and not everyone likes them. The best-tasting part of the flowers is the petals, you could cut them off and fry them while still attempting to fertilize, I suppose.

Mostly people leave the female flowers alone and eat the male ones, but if you have only the one male, you probably don't want to do that.

[minor-architect.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure whether I should laugh, hug you, or smack you with a wet noodle right now. Maybe a combination of all three? :D

El-LEN! A woman's gardening skills are NOT equally proportionate to her developing skills as a mother. If this were true, I'm betting at least one half of the human race wouldn't even exist.

Take my mother as an example. She loves plants of all kinds but if I were to recount every gardening disaster I know about, I'd be talking for a year. Yet she's still managed to raise a daughter into adulthood. Who holds a steady job, pays her taxes, saves for her own retirement and everything! (And kills some of her own plants...but not that it matters.)

You're going to be a fine nurturer. Just give the pollinating a try and if that doesn't work, take kiri_moth's advice and eat the zucchini blossoms, instead. They are yummy!

[kelkyag]

take kiri_moth's advice and eat the zucchini blossoms, instead. They are yummy!

And nigh-impossible to get any way other than growing them yourself, as they are very perishable. Nom!

[nixjim13.livejournal.com]

I've killed everything from parsley to tomatoes. Gardening can be hit and miss (especially if you are me!). Some of my zucchinis have done the same thing as yours. I thought I'd just killed them with kindness :) (mine are in pots, way overcrowded, I sometimes forget to water them, other days I'm probably too enthusiastic)

[uneide.livejournal.com]

Seems like you've gotten great advice!

For what its worth I've killed just about every plant I've owned, and my chibi is almost 7 now, lol, so he's survived my black thumb. ;)

<3

psst--- I managed to overwater my aloevera too.. ^^;

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

Sounds to me like they aren't pollinating- the fruits will develop slightly even when not fully pollinated. If you've been having cold and wet, the native bees etc won't be out in force. It's a problem all over the northwest this year. Do you know how to hand pollinate?

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

You know, if the plants were stressed out, they would likely have mostly male flowers. In my experience, squash plants produce more female flowers only when they are healthy and able to support lots of fruit.

Just another vote for non-pollination being the most likely culprit here.