Cover for critique...

[ellenmillion]

Not filtering to my art WIP group, 'cause I'd love ANY critique that anyone's got... furries are not really my 'thang,' so I bet that some folks will be able to help me on anatomy. This is for the cover of a bellydancing instructional book with a playful Alaskan theme...

Comments

[sunkitty77.livejournal.com]

This is too cute!!! The horse is my favorite... I think you did quite well on the furries.. what is it that is puzzling you???

-Tina

[coldtortuga.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I already finished my coffee, 'cause it hurts somethin' fierce to snark hot coffee up into the sinuses. Your sketch is wicked funny :)

Critiques (as requested): The "moose" looks rather "horse"y -- and, a little too butch with the buzzcut hairdo. The wolves are hilarious, don't change a thing. Maybe add a little tiny parka-hooded figure next to that igloo, scratching his head in bemused bewilderment. The bird needs work; I'm not sure how a bellydancing raven would look, it's not *quite* right -- maybe spreading out a shimmering veil with the wings? -- imagine a dance instructor telling the students, "Now spread out your fingertips and believe you can fly!"

:)

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

I love the veil between the wings idea! I wasn't liking the moose at all, I agree she needs less horseyness.

[aminamithri.livejournal.com]

Cute idea, indeed. That said...

I've a teeny gripe with the composition, actually. Everyone's all packed into the middle, have you thought of maybe moving the (moose?) over to the right a bit? The bird's position also bothers me a bit, rather like he's about to go into an extended dramatic death scene. Since it's supposed to be bellydancing, making everything a bit more flowing strikes me as appropriate.

Smack me if I'm wrong, or whatever.

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

You're quite right... not sure how much of that I'm going to have to live with, though... deadline's Saturday, and this needs to be color. Yipes!

[puffbird.livejournal.com]

:) This will be fun when it's finished. :)

I don't have much experience with canines, so I can't say much about them...

My only note is that the moose looks like it's built more like a horse than it should be in the withers, rump, and neck. Moose are blocky critters, a lot more angular and awkward-looking than horses, which will make it all the funnier for her to be in a belly-dancing outfit. :) (She is a moose, right? I don't think moose have manes...) I'd give you a redline, but I'm not in a place where I can do that right now. Instead, here's a page with several pictures... some are even pretty close to the pose you're going for here.

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

You are a doll! I was very much sans reference, and knew she was all wrong without knowing how. Thanks!!

[baba-studio.livejournal.com]

I think it's a great idea, and I like the wolves. Maybe the moose's back is slightly the wrong shape - may need refining a bit (Oh, just noticed puffbird said much the same)?

I actually think in part it's the bird that lets it down, it's not as well drawn as the rest. Perhaps the wolves are a bit pretty - but then, that's probably what you want for something like this. After all, it's not realism is it?

I do think that if you do just a bit more work on this, it's going to come out very well :-)

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

The bird definitely needs some refinement, and the moose in a big way. And yes, definitely aiming for a prettier-than-natural look. More work coming up! Thanks for the comment!

[millennialhippy.livejournal.com]

Which of the wolves is not like the other o/`

The third on the left has a different foot pattern than the other two. Is she/he just the out-of-step wolf or does one of the other wolves need to mix it up a bit?

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

Well, it's a beginners book, so maybe she's just out of step. :P I may adjust one of the others a little.

[sunkitty77.livejournal.com]

Is it a moose or is it a horse??? I thought it was a horse??

-Tina

[ellenmillion.livejournal.com]

Moose, and she's the largest (in many ways!) of my problems with this piece so far. I was working without reference and it shows painfully!

[sunkitty77.livejournal.com]

awww.. ellen I'm sorry I thought it was a horse.... IT is a good horse but could use more mooseiness.. I think that if you added moose kind of antlers that would clear that up right away! And also if you added some more fur underneath his neck and chin he would totally come in to his moose like nature...

-Tina

Belly dancing tips

[(Anonymous)]

The most important things to remember when portraying a belly dancer is are the limbs in opposition? If the left leg is forward the left arm MUST be back. Left arm and right leg go forward together as do Right arm and left leg. Arm sweeps back and down to frame the hip that has dropped. Head must always be vertically over feet no matter how far her hips swing out and her weight is always directed downwards. The wolves front paws on the side where their leg is raised should be extended behind their backs and your crow should have one of its wings forward. Also the legs are raised too high, you might raise one as far as tiptoe just before a hip drop but not right off the ground unless they are at that stage of a *camel* in which case their chests would be further forward and the bottoms further back. The animals are fine but you should maybe watch a couple of classes, a lot of dancers might have reference pics you would find helpful.

Re: Belly dancing tips

[(Anonymous)]

Forgot about this one some pics of belly dancers on this site
http://www.gildedserpent.com/

Re: Belly dancing tips

[(Anonymous)]

and maybe it would work better to have the paw that should be back raised back behind their heads like in a saiedi walk? at least then you could see it from this angle of view wheras if just back, it might look as though the limb was missing. I shall shut up now!