My Scars (LJ Idol)

[ellenmillion]

My visible scars are not interesting ones. There is that symmetrical, three-sided star on the back of my hand from dropping an endmill (freshly sharpened) on myself, and the little blobby bit on my left wrist from molten honey, but none of those are particularly interesting stories. Most of the white lines and circles I couldn't even tell you the story behind, and the fanged smiley face on my pinky finger is just a lesson in wearing gloves when you go to move large metal barrels.

I haven't even got any great mental scars to talk about. I had an idyllic childhood and grew up happily naive and well-protected.

Even the car crash that broke my back didn't leave any scars - not one! I had a bad concussion and a crushed vertebra, but didn't even bleed from any scratches. (Bruises, yes, but those faded.)

I suppose the most notable scars I have are the least noticeable of any of them: they pepper the back of my eyeballs. So, I will use this entry as a public service announcement. If you are highly myopic (near-sighted), have a family history of diabetes or blindness, or see floaters or flashers, get your eyes checked by a professional. And I mean, thoroughly checked, not just a prescription for your glasses. Get your eyes dilated and let them shine that headache-causing light at the back of your eye while you follow the dot around. It is a medical procedure, if you are a high-risk case, and your insurance should cover it even if you don't have vision coverage. Especially do this if you're seeing more flashers or floaters than usual, or if things seem vaguely dimmer than they used to.

It saved my sight.

My freshman year in high school, my retinas started detaching: http://www.webmd.com/eye-health/tc/retinal-detachment-topic-overview

(I'm actually horribly disappointed in that link. Where's the gross picture of an eyeball lying on someone's cheek with a floppy, loose retina, eh?)

It wasn't too bad when it was first looked at, but by the time my non-serious, minor, out-patient surgery rolled around, they had degenerated so far that it ended up being a massive, multi-hour (my memory says 8, my brain says my memory is a weenie and probably doesn't remember correctly...) surgery on BOTH eyes as opposed to the scheduled single surgery, I was literally days from being completely blind and the damage was enormous. I had to stay in the hospital for a week, and wore a patch over the most afflicted eye for several more weeks. My ophthalmologist makes it sound like the back of my eye is more scar than not, now - basically hot-glued into shape with scarring.

My right eye is held together by a plastic band to keep strain from tearing the retina more, and both eyes have intensive laser and freezing scarring that seals up all the tears. The plastic belt is called a schleral buckle, and there are some illustration pop-ups here: http://www.webmd.com/eye-health/scleral-buckling-surgery-for-retinal-detachment#hw187647

I have the full wrap-around kind. If you put your finger firmly right at the edge of my eye and I look all the way to the left, you can feel it sliding around under my skin. I'd call it a party trick, but there are more people I DON'T want touching my eye than the other way around.

I'd say 'show me your scars, I'll show you mine,' but there are a lot of things I don't want to see, and you can't see mine without dilating drops, so we'll just skip that and I'm going to go to bed so I can get up for my meetings tomorrow.

Comments

[brightling.livejournal.com]

*shudders* That is immensely creepy. I'm so glad the surgery got done in time and worked and everything Ellen! Its one of those loss of hands or eyes things that freak me out beyond belief, even though I recognize that it is possible for people to still thrive despite.

(I actually had to finish reading this post through mostly clenched shut eyes... I guess that makes me squeamish!)

So yeah, stay healthy!! No more required surgery for you! I think you've had more than your share with all that already. Wow.

[sofish-sasha.livejournal.com]

I just have one small scar, over my left eyebrow. I got it from stepping on a rake. XD

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

I didn't know any of that, and it was very well written. Wow.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

That is good information about the detached retina and possible damage that can be final.

I have odd eyes with a number of things about them that will serve me well as I get older but can cause all kinds of scares (like possible glaucoma and possible detached retina)when I was younger. Because I have cupped retinas and an extra thick cornea, as my eyes age I will avoid some of the lens problems that plague the elderly. I managed to avoid any form of glasses until I was over 42 and now I only have to wear them if I am doing close detail work for a long period of time.

And I found all this info out because of all my floaters.

I am glad that your sight was saved.

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

That's kind of scary. I've seen floaters for many years. Since at least college, if not before. And I've always been told it's nothing serious. Maybe I'll ask at my next appt. I plan to get in soon to get some prescription sunglasses.

So you're talking about the test where you sit your chin in that holder and they shine a bright light in your eyes after they put dilating drops in them, right? I hate that test...I always feel such pressure on my eyes for a while afterwards.

*HUGS* I'm glad they saved your vision!!!

[pixiewildflower.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[piotrov.livejournal.com]

Excellent, well written, entry - and I'm kinda ashamed to say I'd never known/heard about any of that happening to you. So glad that you were able to get the needed surgery, and since I'm also near-sighted and do have some family history of diabetes, it's a well appreciated warning.

I'm sooo in need of a job with medical benefits....

[spydielives.livejournal.com]

For many years, I was taking a medication with a high risk for glaucoma. I went every six months, like clockwork, to have my eyes dilated.

When I went to a new doctor recently, he took my history, and dilated my eyes. Even though I have frequent floaters and flashers, he said everything still looks good. Still, he wants me to come back in 6 mos, to be sure.

He doesn't have to ask me twice.

Thank you for sharing.

[sushimustwrite.livejournal.com]

I also had that carefree happy childhood on the surface, which also left me wondering what to write about.

But wow, thanks for this. I'm also nearsighted and had no idea. Oh, to have medical insurance again.

[kanaetkassad.livejournal.com]

that's amazing it can happen so fast!

[n-decisive.livejournal.com]

Gross, but informative and good, and definitely personalized. Nice job!

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

Wow. It's scary how fast that piled up on you!